Hope is the anticipation that the outcome will be
good.
Worry is the anticipation that the outcome will be bad.
Faith is the anticipation that whatever the outcome, it will be for our
good.
I have a lot of
faith.
life has been busy as usual. i'm still trying to run my little bitty business, raise my not so itty bitty baby, be a sweet and loving wifey & keep track of my priorities. keeping track of my priorities has been a major theme for me lately. with all of the panic about the economy and all the uncertainty with the upcoming election my priorities are more clear than ever. FAMILY(friends included). my family. SIMPLICITY. in all things. LOVE. the best i have to give. FAITH. good medicine. BREATHE. deep breath in....... all is well.
my papa passed away last friday night. it sits like a lump in my throat. with his passing brings lots of peace that he is not suffering anymore.... but also such an end of an era.
i just keep relishing in the last day i spent with him this summer. milo and i hitched a ride with pop & glamma to Papa and Diana's. we went to help with any last minute chores before Papa and Diana left for idaho for the rest of the summer. we also went to visit....... of course. i really wanted Papa & Diana to see what a little fun "Woobie" Milo had become. the previous visits we had during the holidays were not an accurate representation of milo. he was cranky and unhappy about all the passing around that was being forced on him. therefore Papa and Diana had not had a chance to experience his true fun nature..... although there is certainly some truth in the crankiness they had seen before...... but we won't get into that right now.
we spent the day just hanging out. Diana was finishing up her last bits of packing and we all sat around the kitchen table talking about whatever. it was so nice. then Pop, Papa & I went outside to clear the fruit trees. it was HOT HOT HOT out there but these are my treasurred last memories of Papa. Pop was climbing up the ladder and picking the grapefruit from the tops of trees and Papa and I were gathering them in bags to give away. there was some fruit throwing and joking and a lot of laughing. we had to keep telling Papa to stop helping..... Pop and I were supposed to be doing all the work but he couldn't help himself. Papa and i also had a lot of fun pointing out more fruit that was hidden at the top of the trees....... poor Pop had to climb back up the ladder and reach through the thorny tree to clear every last piece of fruit off. it seems like such a simple last memory. SIMPLE......... and perfect!
then we sat in the shade in the backyard for awhile. Pop took Milo in the pool and Papa & I watched them swim. i took lots of pictures...... not because i thought that this might be the last time i saw Papa. but because it just seemed so special. i had never been to that house as a mother and a wife. i didn't really give a ton of thought to it at the time..... but now i realize the specialness of my dad in the pool with my son as my grandfather and i watched........ we were doing absolutely nothing..... it was WONDERFUL.
services will be held next week. i can hardly bear the thought of seeing Diana & Pop. i know Pop's doing ok and has a ton of support & good memories... but when i put myself in his shoes...... the thought of losing him is too unbearable to even ponder. i can only think about all of the love and respect i saw between the two of them. i've watched as both Pop & Glamma have tirelessly been of service to their ailing and aging parents and am inspired and amazed at how they do it. this could possibly bring me to my next point........ should i have 10 children?????....... cause i think you need lots of children to care for you in your old age. just a thought!............. I'M KIDDING!!!!!! don't freak out! :)
